I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
