dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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