WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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