pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize