her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
