you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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