Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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