do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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