is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize