the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
