Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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