I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
