"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
