There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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