I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
