dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
