How'd it feel making her break her religion?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
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