So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize