Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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