He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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