BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
