There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
All I want is dick and wine.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
