Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
