I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
