Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
