i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
