she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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