I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
