I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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