My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I need help removing her.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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