At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
