i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
