Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
