His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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