my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
