Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
