yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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