i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
