So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
