apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
