Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
