did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
