You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Ladies don't puke and tell
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
