Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
