Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
