Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
