CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
