How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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