Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
