Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
