Whod you bang
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
