she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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