Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
