so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
