We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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