I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
