then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
