Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
not ubering you a puppy
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
