My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
