My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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