I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
