Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
