hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
