he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Its about making memories worth repressing
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
